Like many people this week we celebrated things to be thankful for but part of my reflection was on my withdrawal from my doctoral studies one year ago. While caring for little JJ as a custodial G Parent, my life has changed for the good, the bad, and the fugly. I am just taking a "Pause for the Cause" and will continue to be an autodidact.
- I remember attempting to explain to my Academic Advisor on why she didn't get my reason to withdraw. It was not an easy decision.
- I don't have as much time to blog.
- I read more than interacting with my social media streams.
- I empathize with those dealing with depression in their own families.
- Poopy diapers are still as stinky as one may remember.
- I am thankful that none of us remember our baby teeth coming in.
- I am thankful to my mother for being there during the process.
- I am thankful for the adults in her life who continue to show her love, regardless of what her parents are going through and the adjustments we make since we were not in the same life social circles before she came into the world.
- Prices of diapers and child care have kept up with the times.
- Family counseling only works with those who participate.
- You still need the village to raise the child.
- Glad the National Zoo is still free.
- I love how playgrounds have improved over the years.
For those who care for babies and toddlers, I have no idea how you keep up with your techspertise, social media, and the things you want to do in life every day. Transitioning from an empty nester to a custodial GMama has been enlightening, frustrating, enjoyable, and transformational.
While I will not make my personal goal of completing my doctorate degree in the first five decades of life, I will return and accomplish this goal before the sixth decade of my life. Life isn't over...I am just taking a "Pause for the Cause".
In the meantime, little JJ continues to tinker with techy gadgets although she wants everyone else's gadgets. She uses gadgets for different reasons and different apps. She still likes to write and draw with washable markers on paper and the bathtub (Thanks Crayola). Buy hey maybe this is a restart on my next thesis as a participant researcher in the process?
So as a unique ed techie, I will find time to blog which may consist of books I am reading, compare/contrast the techie differences between lil JJ and her mother's techie experiences, lessons learned but all things digital with Lil JJ are kept more private. She can make the decision about her digital footprint when she is a little older.
As you reflect on another year of giving thanks, what are you really thankful for?
It is official. I withdrew from my Comps and from NCU. It is OK, I can return when I have time. There are times when you have to choose the hard right over the easy wrong. I admit...I wanted to complete my last year...comps and the dissertation phases and be done with something I started.
I beat myself up and down trying to make life work with school, work, custodial grandparenthood, and 4 generations in a household. The last year has been full of adapt, implement, and overcome moments. This post is kind of long...so pour your drink of choice and get comfortable.
While many children under the age of 2 have a digital presence, I have only shared Jazlyn's pictures with select individuals through Picasa. Below is the reason that I chose to be a Doctoral Dropout for now. She is definitely a gadget girl who likes to tinker, from the iPad to the Kindle Fire and she loves Elmo. I did create a GMail address for her so that I can share all of the events that have kept us so busy and so she is not mistaken when she Googles her own parents.
I did not want to be called "Grandma" so I am opting for "GMama". My neighbors adopted the GMama and GDaddy titles and to this day their granddaughter calls them by that title respectively. The other grandmothers in this picture are happy to be grandmothers, both are younger than me and with younger children at home. I know there is another blogosphere on why young adults have unprotected sex.
It is challenging seeking help for our young adult children who want and need to move on with life. I loved being an empty nester in North Carolina. I thought returning to Augusta, GA would encourage my daughter to move on with her life. We went to counseling. The other family talked her into self admitting to the hospital. I am trying to protect my daughter's HIPPA rights but I know that I am not alone in this situation. Then she aged out of my insurance program and does not have any benefits through her employer.
My lawyer said that grandparent custody cases are rising for his firm. Choosing to seek custody of Jazlyn was a tough decision but after a few incidents, consulting with my own mother, and heightened media of the Casey Anthony case...I opted for going to court versus having my daughter committed through probate court. I work with three other women who are stepping up as custodial grandparents. My daughter has not lost her parental rights...she must show that she can support herself and her child.
I will continue to blog as the Unique Ed Techie and just update the profile descriptions throughout the web. I thought about starting another page with a tab at the top and opted against it because I am a unique educational technologist in my personal and professional life. Who knows what the future holds? Maybe I will throw my name in the race for school board in May 2012...maybe our prayers will be answered and my daughter will get her life together and be the responsible single mother that I know she can be...maybe...regardless of what happens I will continue to blog, maybe more that I don't have as much research and reading to do and maybe less because of what LiL JJ brings to our life.
Single parenthood the first time was challenging and never did I think I would be going through this again particularly at this time in my life when I wanted to enjoy "Me Time". I am thankful for everyone in my village for making this work. I am particularly thankful to my mom as I could not continue in my career without her being there for Jazlyn when she cannot go to daycare and I know she did not expect to be taking care of babies after recovering from her fractured neck vertabrates in November 2009.
I know something has happened to my young adult daughter that I cannot help her with. I continue to take the high road and move forward as the other options would put me behind bars. She will not discuss anything with me but apparently lashes out at me via her social media connections. She has blocked anyone who may contact me about her on or offline behavior.
Jumping off of the virtual blog soap box. Keep us in warm thoughts and prayers this season along with those service members who continue to serve and keep on learning every day!
